Dear DOCTOR Owen:

I have three children who expect the Easter bunny to bring candy and chocolate bunnies at that time of the year. I have been successfully dieting, but crave chocolate. I am afraid that I will “blow it” with all the leftover chocolate hanging around. Do you have any ideas on how to cope with this situation?

Ballooning Bunny

Dear “Bunny”:

Holidays are always a risky time of year for people who seek to have control over their food environment. Fortunately, most of the time the festivities are confined to a single day. It seems—thanks to a federal government that declares as many days into holidays as Carter makes pills—that there are holidays virtually every month. Perhaps the merchandisers that promote them. Whatever!

When confined to a single day, food planning can usually be structured with a little proactive thinking:

·        Look for items that may serve dual purposes. For example, there are now many commercially available nutritious dietary bars that contain complex carbohydrates and egg-white protein and are covered with sugar-free, fat-reduced chocolate—which can be rolled and cut with a cookie cutter. A staff member at my clinic did this with a dietary bar. She rolled the bars and cut them with a cookie cutter into the shape of a bunny. She then placed them inside an Easter basket with plastic eggs. The finished “package” looked just like any other Easter basket, and the dietary bars were as delicious as the candy in any supermarket. The only difference is that these “sweets” contained a third of the calories and provided balanced nutrition. There are many adolescent and child patients at the clinic who use dietary bars as meal substitutes and snacks. They were able to eat this basket’s contents and not violate their dietary guidelines. How about that idea for a “dual purpose” creation!

• Next, who said that an Easter basket has to contain only candy? What is the source of that tradition? Since traditions start with someone, put a few pieces of fruit inside the basket. If they are popular with the children, increase the fruits next year. Tell the children that bunnies eat only plants and fruit! (That’s true.)
• Make comments like “The Easter bunny must be helping Mommy stay healthy.” Let your children know that staying healthy is important in order for you to be around for a long, long time. The greatest fear in any child’s life is loss of a parent. Don’t think for one minute they are unaware that you are at risk of early death due to your weight or lifestyle.
• Ask the children to help you by throwing away any candy or other sweets that have not been eaten that day. Say, “I have little control for chocolate and do not know why. I need your help because it is important to my health. I may have a mild addiction.” Repeat: “Will you please help?” Accept only a “yes” answer. If they whine, negotiate. Suggest that they take an extra, uneaten, favorite piece of candy and hide it in a “secret place” just for themselves.

The most gripping advice I ever heard from one person to another was from a 6-year-old to her mother. The mother expressed her concerns about sweets in the house—very similar to yours—to her little girl shortly before Easter. She said, “I am overweight and sick. I have a hard time controlling myself from eating certain foods—like chocolate. Do you understand?” On getting a “yes” answer, Mom then asked her daughter: “What do you think I should do?” Here’s the gist of the tiny tot’s answer: “Thanks for asking. I have been frightened you would die and leave me alone. I know that being fat is serious (she watches TV, you know!). I can’t believe that you value my opinion. You’ve only told me what to do—but you never asked. Since you’ve asked, here’s what we can do.”

Then bam, bam, bam. The girl proceeded to point out all the problem areas. She’d never said anything prior to this because she thought it would hurt her mother’s feelings. She also felt guilty because she knew that it could contribute to her mother’s sickness. The child felt some of the blame. All this—from a 6-year-old! The mother sobbed as she told me this story.

People love to help the helpless. So be honest and confess your difficulty (not your “problem”) to your children. It is OK to not have all the answers or not be perfect. It is OK to “fall off the wagon” once in awhile. It is OK to ask for help. It is OK to accept help. It is not helpful to people—nor to you—to “act” like everything is all right. It isn’t, and they know it.