Dear DOCTOR Owen:

My grandchildren come to visit use every weekend. I have just lost a lot of weight and my husband is diabetic. The children always like me to have snacks with chips, peanut butter, and ice cream. They eat some, but inevitably my husband and I eat most of what remains. I want to please my grandkids but hate to hurt my husband’s health. Any ideas?

Grateful Grannie

Dear “Grannie”:

Did you teach your children right from wrong when they were growing up? Did you admonish them if they hit or bullied other children? Did you let them hurt animals? Did you encourage them to love and be gentle with animals? Did you teach them how to dress and act? If you answered “yes” to these questions, why wouldn’t you also teach their children how to eat and to stay healthy? Do you want your children, or those dear grandchildren, to end up like your husband—with diabetes? I’m sure the answer to the last question is “no”—but this is what you are teaching them, whether you realize it or not.

You are sending out a very complex message: Reward the ones we love with high-fat, high-sugar foods. (Ever wonder why your husband is a diabetic?) The “reward” foods for these special people in your lives are high fat, high sugar. When you and your husband demonstrate that you are willing to sacrifice your health to accommodate your sweet tooth, you are teaching these impressionable youngsters that you do not value your own health. What a negative message you, role models to these youngsters, are sending! How much value do you think those children will place on their health? At this point, it is essential for you to reverse your eating habits and make available such traditional foods as lean meats, fruits and vegetables, whole-grain breads, and alternatives to snacks—for everyone in your household over the weekends and every day.

The serious consequences of poor eating habits do not show up for decades. Often, the person (or persons) exemplifying such habits—in this case, you and Grandpa—is long gone. Realistically, science did not make diet-health risk associations until the 1960s, and they didn’t come to the public’s attention until the 1980s, so you cannot be blamed for your lack of awareness. Plus, Madison Avenue’s advertising message of fast food products—usually enacted by wholesome, healthy, happy people—makes you feel good about those choices . . . that you are doing the right thing. Well, your food choices are neither right nor wrong. They are only high-fat, high-sugar, high-risk, low risk, worth the risk, not worth the risk. Your choices should reflect your attitude you have about the value of your life. It is this value that you are teaching to the children.

You obviously know how to control your home environment. Now it’s time to pass along your knowledge on to others—namely, your favorite weekend guests! I suggest applying the principles of “See One, Do One, Teach One”—a method of learning that does not involve 100% daylong classroom sessions of observing and listening. Setting the correct example (mentor) and following that example (learner) are major elements in this educational technique. This approach has proven very successful in Diet Therapy classes conducted at my clinic.

I found out the value of “See One, Do One, Teach One” as a medical school student, when learning how to perform patient procedures. Competency rules when it comes to “procedures.” Physicians must be thoroughly knowledgeable about what they are doing, as patients’ lives are literally in “the hands of the doctor.” In school, every medical student is expected to perform a patient procedure after observing one performed by the professor. Needless to say, med students give their full attention to their mentors at this time. Next day, usually after spending the whole night “cramming,” the students make a presentation to their attending professors of exactly what they did and their understanding of what they did.

Here’s how you can apply “See One, Do One, Teach One” to your loving relationship with your grandchildren, who visit you on weekends:

• ·First and foremost, talk to your grandchildren, with an emphasis on how much you love them; how you want them to have healthy, happy, and long lives; how you expect that one day they will be healthy grandparents (role models) for their grandchildren.
• Explain the hazards of high-fat, high-sugar foods.
• Discuss your family’s health problems and concerns, saying that they have inherited your and Grandpa’s genes, as well as those of their parents.
• Ask them about options for fun and healthy eating that “ya’ll” can agree upon.
• ·Have fresh fruit all around the house. A patient told me that he had to teach his grandchild how to peel an orange. Remember: You may be teaching them something they have never experienced.
• Get non-fat, sugar-free ice cream instead of “real” ice cream (as some people call it).
• Offer pretzels and the new fat-alternative snacks that contain Olestra.
• Have sugar-free, diet soft drinks and non-caloric juice alternatives.
• Buy whole fruit jam instead of peanut butter. Peanut butter is 85% fat and 100 calories/level tablespoon while jam has about 30 calories/level tablespoon.

Think of other positive things you can do.

There are only five important fundamentals to life (according to polls): family, finance, career, spirituality, and health—all of which must be taught. If you, Grannie, don’t teach by example, who will? See One, Do One, Teach One. Live it!