Dear DOCTOR Owen:

I have been dieting for years. I am a nurse who works in the ward of a large hospital. There is only one place where I can take my breaks. In fact, all the nurses and aides use the same “break” room. My dilemma is the enormous number of foods and beverages these people bring into this room to “share” with their fellow colleagues. When I refuse, they get mad and make snide remarks like, “Oh, still on that diet?” Such comments are usually accompanied with ugly, disapproving facial expressions that bring attention to me. Everyone else there then gives me the same nasty looks. How should I handle these people?

Balloon of the Break Room

Dear “Balloon”:

Break areas and other similar situations are a very common problem among dieters. You have discussed your diet plans with your loved ones and friends, and gained some degree of cooperation and support from them. But you go to work and—BAM!—you get hit between the eyes with German chocolate birthday cake for someone you could really care less about. You are in the room and someone politely offers you the food. You feel guilty if you don’t “celebrate,” so you accept and eat. Then you can’t stop. Does this sound familiar?

I’m collecting data on how to conquer the break room: Perhaps I’ll share this info in a book: Break Room Blues. “Blue” refers to how sad you are if you lose control. (“Black and blue” would apply if you maintained control from the “pals” who hate to see you succeed.) It never fails. This applies to teachers, the police, nurses, and just about any shift worker’s break room. Even if birthdays and other celebrations aren’t a problem, colleagues will bring in food for themselves. The smell of their culinary is often just enough to trigger a binge! In my area (New Orleans), it is a local Mardi Gras tradition to bring a King Cake to work. A small plastic baby is embedded inside of a cake. Whoever cuts the slice with the doll must bring the next King Cake to work. People who don’t participate are made to feel like cheapskates.

What is even more depressing about this problem is the junk food that everyone is expected to eat in break rooms: birthday cake, doughnuts, and pizza! Let’s face it. At 600 calories/serving (or 6 miles of walking “payback”), how good does this food really taste? If you are seriously watching your intake, this leaves you only a small balance of savings in the “calorie bank” for the rest of the day. It is tough to get a couple of satisfying meals if there are only 800 calories left there for the day—and all you’ve had to eat so far has been a lousy doughnut!

The break room is supposed to be a friendly place, but you will be stoned to death (or get pie in the face) if you try to enforce a “no junk food” policy. Also, whoever brings in the most junk food is hostile at attempts to make changes among the group.

Here are some “tips”:

• When junk food is simply lying around and not being eaten, simply “clean up” by throwing it all away! (I feel a shudder from those of you out there who know how dangerous that will be.)
• Take some helpful advice from Julius Caesar, whose motto was “Divide and Conquer.” Caesar was able to triumph by getting some of the enemy to come over to his side; he would bribe some and isolate others, but not attack the main segment of the army until he had the opposing soldiers squabbling among themselves. The same tactics work in a break room. Who is overweight and seems to show an interest in a diet plan? Throw out a few “test” salvos to see if anyone is interested. If you get any “bites” (figuratively speaking), you have identified an ally (or allies). Subtly discuss with your new “collaborators” how much junk food is in the break room, how difficult it is to keep to a diet under these circumstances, and so on. If they agree, band together to stage a coup.
• Slowly but surely, invite and enlist others to join your group. You may even interest some of them in following a diet plan with you. When you are sure that a majority of the people visiting the break room are part of your group—attack. Ask your group not to participate in break-room birthday cake celebrations, or have them bring fruit or other non-fattening “gifts” instead. Make sure your allies stick to lower-fat food items and talk about healthy eating. Make the “enemy” know that it is important to the majority of the group to follow certain principles of behavior in the break room. Discuss “payback” calories and “worth it” food items with people who gather in the break room. Make the people who once taunted you feel like they are “odd-men-out.” People hate that!

It will take approximately 18 months to conquer the bad break-room habits. I’ve orchestrated this three times now—18 months each time. So be patient. Be tolerant. Be persistent. Then—BAM!—they will feel guilty, not you.