Dear DOCTOR Owen:

Yesterday, my daughter came home from school crying uncontrollably. She said that the children surrounded her, ridiculing her and singing songs about her fatness. She went to the teacher, who suggested that she lose weight. Now she doesn’t want to go to school and cries every morning. I explained to her that being plump is not something to be ashamed about. I am concerned this and that she will become an obese adult. What can I do?

Fat Kid’s Mom

Dear “Mom”:

Your child’s pain is common, not the exception. Do not expect her to have an easier “go” of it soon or in the future because society is deeply prejudiced against obese individuals. Furthermore, the injustice is so accepted that our society is not even conscious of its behavior. Editors at several leading newspapers lashed out at the American Obesity Association’s (AOA) “coming out” convention in Washington, D.C. They blamed the obese for their problems and stated that obesity is not a national or governmental issue. They implored the government not to get involved in obesity issues, stating that it would cost more money, which the government doesn’t have. Yet, cigarette smoking, AIDS, drug addiction, and many other health issues are individual problems that certainly affect the entire population and receive considerable public and press attention.

Here is the gist of a recent article I recently read, which demonstrates the depth and complexity of the obesity issue:

Do not expect things to change anytime soon. The best thing you can do is educate yourself and your daughter about diet and exercise strategies for a lifetime. Get diet counseling, exercise instruction, and psychological help, and become proactive. Help your child understand her situation. Teach her about prejudice and respect for other people. Teach her how to become a leader, not a failure. Help her accept what she can’t change and have the courage to change what she can.

Talk to your daughter daily. The obese person is isolated and ostracized. Many of them would like to run and hide. Therefore, the obese need to know they are not alone. Meet with her teacher and find out if the school can arrange to invite a guest expert to discuss prejudice with the class or school. Contact the AOA [see “American Obesity Association (AOA)” column in this chapter], and join.

Yes, Mom. There is much you can do. There is much to be done. If you read this column daily, you can appreciate how complicated and important this subject has become. It affects everyone, directly or indirectly. Write down a good diet plan and follow it with your daughter. You may be surprised to find out how obesity prejudice has even affected you. I hear this every day in parent-child counseling sessions. It is very subconscious. Listen for it!